SELF ESTEEM

Why is Self Esteem an issue with having an anxiety disorder?
Self esteem is an important issue with a lot of people and I think very much so with people with anxiety disorders. I wanted to add this page as I think it is important to improve the loss of self esteem we can get from living with an anxiety disorder. It not only goes a long way to help us in our day to day lives. But also to recover.

What is Self Esteem?
Self esteem is how you see yourself. How you judge yourself and compare yourself to others. Good self esteem is about accepting and feeling O.K. about yourself. Low self esteem is feeling you aren't good enough, and wish you could either improve parts of you or even be someone else.

How does low self-esteem affect us?
Low self esteem can affect us in a lot of ways. In how we deal and act with other people, to how we see the world. We can act in ways that are self defeating if you have low self esteem. For example you might not try a new thing, or do a certain thing as you feel you wont be able to do it, or finish the task in front of you. Instead you might give up before you even try and therefore stop yourself from doing something regardless of that fact that you haven't yet failed or even begun the task.

How can we begin to accept ourselves?
Start by not judging yourself on what you do. If you are a good person at heart then don't even try to judge yourself by your accomplishments. If you aren't good at golf for example it doesn't mean your not a worthwhile person. Nor that you aren't good at something else. We all have our strengths and weaknesses No human is perfect and it is impossible to be that. Don't try and strive for it either. You'll only start counting you failures and not your successes.

How thinking affects our self esteem.
Self esteem is all about how we view ourselves, how we think about ourselves and judge ourselves. An important thing to do is to watch your thinking. See whether your thinking actually supports and helps you, or cuts you down and takes away your feelings of worth. Don't set unachievable goals, this paves the way for failure and you almost give yourself an excuse to cut yourself down. Try not to think in a catastrophic way. I know this is an easy thing for a person with an anxiety disorder to do. But try to start thinking realistically, don't pick the worst possible solution, or worst possible part of you to focus on.. It does nothing to help you.
Ask yourself questions like 'is that really the most realistic outcome?' or 'has that ever happened before, why should I assume that it will now?' Try to find the best and most positive possible outcome. Give yourself and life the benefit of the doubt. Don't think of life , or yourself, as black or white...there is often a middle ground. Don't see yourself as either perfect or worthless. The truth is that no one is neither. Don't lose perspective of what is worth thinking and worrying about and what is not. Often times we can almost obsess over ourselves and our situation and it will turn out not to worth any of the worry. Don't loose perspective of your good values. Even write them down a lot. Just start with four words. 'I am good at...'. or 'I am good because...' Even better is 'I am fantastic as...' Treat yourself with a bit of kindness. Look after yourself and realize that you are an amazing person no matter what your circumstances or what the past has brought you. Treat yourself as well as possible, you deserve it.